Hello, I’m Virginia, a fellow user like yourself.
Sorry to hear you’re experiencing problems.
Is there a specific problem which is showing when trying to pair/connect or are you just wanting general instructions on how to do that?
General Bluetooth connection settings:
If not then it may be the headset is not compatible with Xbox S via Bluetooth but can be used wired via the controller’s headset port.
Note: This is a non-Microsoft website. The page appears to be providing accurate, safe information. Watch out for ads on the site that may advertise products frequently classified as a PUP (Potentially Unwanted Products).
Please do not download any repair tool which may be offered by this site other than the ones I mention/recommend.
Thoroughly research any product which is mentioned here before you decide to download and install it.